WE LIVE UNDER THE SUN & DREAM UNDER THE MOON
I had written about this account long ago when it had first happened, but somehow I have lost the word document. However, this experience is engraved so deeply within my mind and my heart, because of the life-changing affect it had on me.
I was not in a happy place when I had this beautiful experience. I was angry about my past and the way my life had turned out. Full of blame, regret, shame, heart broken, and out of faith I just couldn't see the point of trying anymore.
I had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I only say "had" because I don't want to own that illness. There really is no cure for this disorder or form of manic depression, but there are ways to cope and deal with it. I do sometimes still experience triggers but I have since found the strength to overcome them.
The only good thing I had going for me was my children. Leaving me solely responsible for their well being was keeping me barely afloat when it came to living. Leaving them without a mother meant letting them down in the worst way possible, and I could never do that to my children.
Sometimes I look back at this time and wonder how differently my life would be today if I hadn't lied myself down and let go during my meditation...
I had been interested in crystals and their healing affect for some time. I could feel their vibrations and pulses, but I didn't take the time to really explore the full capacity of their power.
I learned through Massage Therapy school about energy, auras, intent, and the amazing power the mind has over the body. I practiced using crystals for my grounding ritual, before and after each massage. I kid you not, my life completely changed when I implemented them in my massage therapy studies and practice. I "woke up". My soul had been a reiki practitioner as well as a healer in a few of my past lifetimes, and it was through my course in massage therapy that I awoke those memories and felt just a fraction of the power that was engraved in my soul.
I know this sounds like a bunch of hocus pocus. Trust me, sometimes I look back at this and am just floored by the amazing things I experienced.
There had been times in the past where I would lie down and stick a selenite on my Brow Chakra (forehead - between eyes) and would feel the pulsating vibrations. I'd get dizzy and would stop when the feelings got too intense.
About a year earlier before this experience, my Aunt had bought me a beautiful Pink Lemurian Quartz crystal in which I would also experiment with placing on my brow. I would feel it intensely, even more-so than the Selenite, so I was a bit fearful of letting go because I felt as if I was losing control of being completely present.
It was early in the afternoon, my girls were still at school and I was home with my mother. She was off doing her thing and I was in my room. I lied down on my couch (well actually bed.. haha..) and placed my favorite crystals on me and set my Pandora to my Meditation Radio and attempted to fade away. My Pink Lemurian Quartz lie on my forehead and I could feel myself spinning. With each breath I could feel myself falling deeper and deeper into this spiral that my body seemed to be flowing in. My mind blank, my heart open, and my spirit willing to embrace anything that would come to be.
A faint image came into my mind. Through my own eyes I saw myself standing at the bottom of a cold, heavy, and dark place. I knew I wasn't actually there, as I was completely conscious but the image it seemed, was not voluntary, so in a sense I was outside looking in on a scene but it was happening directly to me. I have read since then, that it could be somewhat of the same experience as a lucid dream.
This place I saw myself in became more clear that I was on the bottom of a large body of water. I looked up and saw a faint glimmer of light and took it as the sun shining down on the surface of the water that was far above my head.
I reached up but the weight of the water around me was too heavy, that it took a lot of effort just to raise my arms. I tried a few times to jump and extend my body up towards the top but failed. I could feel that even consciously, I was frustrated.
Taking a moment to gather my strength I kicked with all my might and finally moved up from the bottom of the sandy floor. The first few strokes were hard but I eventually gained momentum and swam towards the surface of the water.
As soon as I reached the surface I gasped, taking in a giant breath of fresh air. I could feel the warmth of the sun shining down on me. I was overjoyed, warm, relieved... it felt amazing, like finally, I made it.
I swam, celebrating my accomplishment. I remember doing the dolphin stoke, I laughed to myself at how silly I must have looked. Like I mentioned before, I had absolutely no control of this vision, I could only witness but also experience it.
Turning over to my back, I lied on the water and looked up at the blue sky that was also transparent, revealing a layer of stars beyond it. It was as if I could see the night sky during the day. The blue sky displayed a warm and sunny day, but the stars revealed exactly how heavenly and serene it was - almost as if I was at a higher altitude, or some other plane of existence.
Out of nowhere I shot out of the water and flew past the layers of the blue sky and into the Universe. Stars hovered beside me. I remember hearing a bell in the song currently playing on my Meditation Radio streaming from my Pandora. As it did, the stars beside me rang and vibrated. As they did I could feel a flow of waves hit me. It felt healing and very comforting.
I let go and lied back into someone's arms. This person, or being, had no face I could see but was very large, a lot taller and larger than any person I've ever seen. I was laying in their lap like a child laying on it's parent's arms as they are rocked to sleep.
The being waved it's arm above me, starting at my legs and moved up to my head. As it moved I could feel each one of my Chakras, starting with the root, heat up. The heat moved up towards my crown, sparking each chakra as if they were candles being lit, one by one.
When you read about the Kundalini and when it rises, it is explained by the ancients as a snake uncoiling and slithering up your spine. It feels EXACTLY like that.
After the being set it's hand down I turned inwards, facing it's stomach and thanked it.
I asked, "Will everything be okay now?"
It responded, "Yes, you are loved."
As if it were by divine timing, my mother entered my room, awakening me from my meditative sleep. I sat up for a moment, a little taken back from my experience. Was it a dream? Or did that really happen?
This experience sparked my journey towards finding myself spiritually and taking my healing more seriously. I knew what I experienced wasn't something I had just dreamed up. It was real, and it was a sign that there is so much more to be discovered.